Quintessentially Kai
 
My birthmark is in my Savior, where the joy and strength of my heart originate from.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Life Quest
Im seriously depressed.

Today someone challenged me about my beliefs about God, about the eternal life or suffering after death.

But shouldnt we have duties in life we are supposed to fulfil before we end these Earth hours? I dont want to die until I have fulfil mine. My parents are important to me (or rather I think Im very important to them) and I dont want them to have failed investment if I just abruptly ended my studies for whatever reasons, including Death. Sounds stupid.. but what if the world ends tmr or next year? I wont have enough time to spend time with my family, to make them happy and to repay them for whatever kindness they have shown me. Who understand the unbearable feelings and obligations ? I cant die before Im done with the Earth and I sincerely hope that God allow that to happen. Im not mad, IM just emotional and unstable but surely, its just a stupid night and tmr will be fine and all good.

Today I had student clinic at a tertiary hospital. It was saddening as we were guided around the ICU. Patients look almost lifeless on the beds with intricated tubes all around their bodies. Most families beside them looking half as helpless and almost looking half as dead. This is just part of life and as our jobs as dietitians, we are trying to lessen their burden of the last few hours of their lives (for some). Ok.. this is not the bulk of our work, but still.. how happy can a hospital setting be ? And to think that the dietitians can remain so cheerful, it must really take some work to learn the tricks of trade.

Enough of that.... I shall go shower and sleep away the depression. Hopefully, by tmr, all the depression will wear off and I will be the cheery girl again.
posted by kai @ 12:18 AM  
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Name: kai
Home: Brisbane, Australia
About Me: A lady in-transition, penning down her insignificant thoughts of life and indulging excessively in a world of her own.
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